This is not to say that it’s “wrong” to commit to someone before 4 weeks; merely that you’ll have a better sense of who you’re committing if you vet him first, instead of giving him a free pass to boyfriend-hood because you like him and want to sleep with him.To the original poster’s point, you really shouldn’t have to “bring up” whether he’s your boyfriend.It’s the kind of thing that will be defined naturally by him calling you every day, spending every weekend with you, introducing you to his friends and family, and so on.In other words, you should both “know” what you are without a heavy discussion.I am scared of getting hurt and us not being on the same page.
So here’s the deal: if you like having sex based on mutual attraction, can easily separate sex from emotion, and have no real attachment to whether he calls you again, then, by all means, ignore this advice. She’s now had sex with a guy who is NOT her boyfriend, and she still has no idea whether he’s seeing anyone else, whether he has any feelings towards her, or whether he’s going to call her the next day. In the meantime, I can think of some other fun things to do…” And then you can proceed to explore each others’ bodies to the limits of whatever boundaries you decide to set. It should be pretty hard for him to argue with that. Take 4-6 weeks to assess whether he’s boyfriend-worthy A man isn’t boyfriend-worthy because he’s cute and smart and funny.I agree with Evan’s advice to have the boyfriend/sexclusivity conversation before sex.The only place I would differ is on the specific advice to the OP.After emailing with a bunch of losers online, she meets a guy whose profile knocks her socks off.She gets all excited about him, and the first date does not disappoint.